Coming Back Into Right Relationship

There was a point this year where I realised I was not unwell, unmotivated, or lacking discipline.
I was simply out of right relationship with my time and attention.

Like many people, I had developed habits that did not feel nourishing: endless scrolling, consuming content that left me more scattered than informed, and a subtle sense of overwhelm that crept in even on quieter days. None of this happened because I did not care about my wellbeing; it happened because modern life is very good at pulling our attention outward while offering very little support for tending the inner life.

As a nutritionist, I think often about what feeds us.
Not just food, but information, stimulation, pace, and rhythm.

And I began to ask a different question:

What would it look like to live in right relationship with my time, attention, and inner life?

Distraction Is Not a Personal Failure

We often frame distraction as a lack of discipline. In my experience, both personally and professionally, distraction is more often a signal.

A signal that we are tired.
Overstimulated.
Under-rested.
Longing for beauty, novelty, or comfort.

Endless scrolling does not usually mean we want more content; it often means we need less noise and more care.

When I stopped moralising my habits and started listening to them, things shifted.

Intentional Living as Repair, Not Control

Intentional living is often marketed as optimisation: better routines, tighter schedules, and greater productivity. For me, it became something much more nuanced and far more sustainable.

I began to see intentional living as a form of repair:

• Repairing my relationship with time

• Repairing my relationship with attention

• Repairing my relationship with rest, rhythm, and enoughness

This was not about doing more; it was about doing fewer things more consciously.

A Simple Framework I Now Choose to Live By

Over time, I developed a personal framework. It is not a rulebook, but a gentle structure I return to when life feels noisy or out of balance.

1. One Guiding Question

Does this deepen my attention, or diffuse it?

This single question now guides many small decisions: what I read, how I rest, when I log off, and how I move through my day.

2. Three Daily Anchors

Even on difficult days, I aim for:

• A morning opening: light, warmth, breath

• A midday grounding: real food, movement, daylight

• An evening closing: screens down, reflection, rest

If nothing else happens, these anchors hold the day.

3. Replace, Do Not Remove

When I feel the urge to scroll, I ask a different question:
What am I actually needing right now?

Often it is:

• rest

• novelty

• reassurance

• beauty

• connection

Rather than removing the habit through force, I try to meet the underlying need more directly.

4. Living Cyclically

Bodies, and especially women’s bodies, are not designed for constant output.

Seasonal rhythms, slower winters, lighter summers, and periods of gathering and release are not indulgent; they are biologically appropriate.

Honouring these rhythms has been especially important for me in midlife.

What This Has Changed for Me

I still scroll sometimes.
I still lose focus occasionally.
But I no longer feel at war with myself.

There is more spaciousness in my days.
More presence at meals.
More attention when I listen.
More trust that rest is not wasted time.

Most importantly, there is less shame.

Honour the Call

If you are feeling scattered, overstimulated, or quietly exhausted, I want to offer this reframe:

You do not need more discipline; you need a kinder relationship with your time and attention.

You might start by asking yourself:

What would living in right relationship look like for me, right now?

Small shifts, gently repeated, can change far more than rigid rules ever will.